Tell Me About It

I’m seeing two women. The problem is I can’t choose between them

Both are attractive to me but I know I have to commit to one of them

PROBLEM: I’m a 26-year-old lad working in America and for a while I had a strong relationship with someone, who is still dear to my heart. However, we broke up and, after a couple years, I finally felt ready to get back on the dating scene. I created profiles on various dating apps and, on Bumble, I got two matches and two mobile numbers from them. Both girls are looking for something that will last, as am I. One is a school teacher and the other is working on her master’s degree.

They’ve both got amazing emotional qualities, which is what I really look for, but both are also attractive to me in their own right physically but I’m going to have to commit to one of them.

I’m writing because they’d both be a great fit, but inevitably I’m going to have to choose, and I feel guilty for eventually having to tell one of them that I’ve found someone. I was wondering if you had any advice on how to gently do it because it is people’s feelings I’m dealing with and they are both amazingly sound people. I guess what I’m getting at is that, in general, I’m an amorous person and want guidance on what to do so that nobody gets hurt, because it’s hard to put your heart on the line and then have it shut down.

They are both relationship material, but I do have to choose, so one is going to be let down. I just don’t want to be a p***k in this situation, because I want to absolutely commit to one, but also the idea of having to say “sorry, I’m interested in someone else” weighs on my heart and I’d feel so guilty.

ADVICE: You are in the lucky situation of finding the possibility of love in your life, but, of course, along with this comes the responsibility to both women. You don’t say if they are aware of each other and, if this is the situation, I wonder how long this has been going on. They are adults and if either is being asked to make a life decision about having you as a partner, they deserve to make this in full knowledge of all the facts.